Have you watched the popular summer movie "Catching Dolls" recently?
It is said that the rhythm of 100 million box office in one day has broken X billion, entering the top ten ranks of the mainland film box office in 24 years, and industry institutions predict that the total box office will reach 3.7 billion, which is expected to become the annual champion.
What is "Catching a Doll" about? Why is it hot at the box office and hotly discussed in the parent circle? (Note: The following involves no spoilers)
In the movie, Ma Chenggang and Chunlan, a wealthy couple in Xihong City, created an education scam for their children in order to cultivate a qualified heir to the richest man.
At the beginning, the wealthy Ma Chenggang also felt that the "tuba" was useless - the eldest son couldn't do anything, he couldn't take over the country he had laid, and he and his wife Chunlan gave birth to a "trumpet" for enrichment;
As a result, he developed a "giant baby", and seeing that the "trumpet" was about to be abolished, Ma Chenggang immediately changed his direction - poor raising.
Of course, in this "Truman's world" created by the ability to rely on money for his youngest son from reality, in fact, it is only superficially materially poor, in fact, Ma Chenggang has carefully built a "rich" education base for his son:
The master who repairs the shoes is the teacher who teaches physics; The master who plays chess is a math master; The owner of the newsstand is a liberal arts generalist; Even grandma is played by education experts......
The sentence that his son Ma Jiye heard the most from childhood to adulthood was "You have to study hard and be admitted to Qingbei".
But in the end, it backfired, Ma Chenggang and his wife tried their best to pretend to be poor, and as a result, they also turned themselves into "fake parents".
The movie sparked everyone's discussion about "suffering education" and "enrichment", and in reality, there are often parents who implement suffering education for their children like Ma Chenggang in "Catching the Doll", and they have to let their children "not suffer hard", thinking that if their children want to succeed, they must understand what hardship is and endure more hardships.
But they often ignore the material "suffering", which does not necessarily lead to spiritual "wealth".
When the discipline of children is completed with suffering education, it is thought that through "pretending to be poor" and strict control, children can be cultivated to bear hardships and stand hard work:
But he neglected to never give the child understanding and respect, but asked the child to follow the script he wrote and go on step by step.
What is more controversial than the "hardship-based education without hardship" is that there are many parents who, like Ma Chenggang and his wife, do not know what real wealth is.
In the movie "Catching the Doll", Ma Chenggang's treatment of his eldest son's education is a hardship that I have suffered, and I can't let the child eat anymore - material wealth, but in the end, I raised my eldest son without learning and skills;
Another kind of rich education for the youngest son: it is to suffer the greatest material suffering, but you have to give the best resources to the child, but in the script that you think is well-choreographed, the parent-child relationship is only KPI, and there is no real feeling.
Material poverty ≠ spiritual prosperity, material poverty ≠ spiritual poverty.
Just like what was widely reported by the media some time ago: Zhu Yetian, a teenager who took the college entrance examination in Maybach at the gate of Hangzhou No. 2 Middle School, scored 700 points and was admitted to Peking University Qiangji.
With a wealthy family background, he broke the stereotypical label of "rich second generation = no learning and no skills" under the influence of excellent family style.
The abundance of material and resources is one thing, but we cannot directly ignore the spiritual richness behind it.
What is true spiritual enrichment?
During the 2024 college entrance examination, for 18-year-old Zhu Yetian, it was like a dream.
First, before entering the examination room, he was accidentally photographed taking the exam in a Maybach luxury car, and it was on the hot search, and he was nicknamed "Young Master Maybach" by some netizens;
Just when everyone almost thought that this was another "son-in-law" who came out to experience life, Zhu Yetian's college entrance examination results were released - a total score of 700 points, and in the end, he was successfully admitted to Peking University's chemistry strong base.
In the face of an interview with reporters, 18-year-old Zhu Yetian said bluntly:
I want to take off the label of "no learning and no skill" through my own efforts.
Many netizens wondered, why do they have to suffer from the college entrance examination when the family is already so rich?
Zhu Yetian felt that he just wanted to study at Peking University, and in the future, he also wanted to become a scientific researcher and engage in materials-related research.
At the same time, the recent situation of Tsinghua student Pang Zhongwang sparked heated discussions on the Internet.
7 years ago, Pang Zhongwang, who was called a "noble son from a poor family" by the media, worked hard to be admitted to Tsinghua University;
Seven years later, he is a third-year doctoral student at Tsinghua University, and he is engaged in the scientific research work that interests him the most.
From the two of them, we can see that whether they are from rich families or so-called poor families, they can achieve real spiritual enrichment.
NO.1
Parents who lead by example are the best role models
The educator Ushinsky once said: "Role models are a very beneficial sunshine to the minds of children, and there is no substitute for this sunshine." ”
Every move of parents is a reference for the child's growth. The best spiritual enrichment is that parents know how to set an example for their children.
Contrary to parents who are good role models, in the movie "Catching the Doll", in order to let Ma Jiye study with peace of mind, his parents read with him openly and secretly stuffed his mobile phone in the book; Mom was so sleepy that she slammed her head on the switch of the light, and all of a sudden the room went dark, leaving only three faces illuminated by her mobile phone.
The doubt left for Ma Jiye was: "Our family loves to read so much, why are we still so poor?" ”
But a famous family such as Zhu Yetian, what the family values most is the influence of leading by example.
In the generation of Zhu Yetian's grandfather, Zhu Bingren, there is the concept that we must not forget to learn and master as much knowledge and skills as possible.
When he arrived at Zhu Yetian, the family hoped to use the elders' own habits to subtly influence him, rather than deliberately teaching him verbally.
Zhu Yetian grew up in such a family environment, and when he saw his father's hard work and self-restraint, he would also hope from the bottom of his heart that he could be like his grandfather and father.
Under the guidance of his mother, Pang Zhongwang understood what true optimism is.
Some time ago, Pang Zhongwang was interviewed by CCTV, and after many years, he talked about the past again, and talked about the person who had the greatest influence on him was also his mother.
He mentioned that since I was a child, I feel that my mother taught me a lot, she said that what you are facing, you have to solve something, since I was a child, my mother taught me to be a very optimistic person, my mother often said that people should look forward, because my mother laughs every day, why should I be uncomfortable?
NO.2
The best abundance is spiritual stocking
In addition to being a good role model for their children, parents also need to give their children more room for self-growth in true spiritual enrichment.
The philosopher Simon · Blackburn said:
"The vision and pattern of parents determine their concept of cultivating their children, and ultimately affect the vision and pattern of children."
Zhu Yetian's mother also showed great respect and trust to him when he was faced with life choices.
Whenever faced with a choice, she gives it to her children. She will help the child analyze each possibility, the pros and cons of each path, the difficulties and challenges faced by each path, and then let the child make his own choice. No matter what decision the child makes, she is firmly behind the child.
This type of education encourages children to think independently and face choices and consequences.
Behind the willingness to give children autonomy is actually the appreciation and trust that parents have for their children. Children who are raised by spiritual wealth can face their lives more independently in the future.
Parents should not only let their children understand where the boundaries are, but more importantly, let them understand why the boundaries are there.
Even if it is a family like Zhu Yetian, parents will manage it to a certain extent.
Because of this, these children who have been raised by spiritual wealth can not only become themselves calmly, not be defined by the world, nor will they become bear children who "ignore and fly".
Children who have grown up rich and have a sense of relaxation are easy to grasp
The understanding of "success" by two Finland schoolchildren in the documentary "Childhood in Another Country" reflects the essence of "spiritual enrichment":
You don't need any great achievements, you don't need to get ahead, success is to have the confidence to become yourself.
The ultimate goal of "spiritual enrichment" is to help children develop a firm "sense of self", which includes objective self-knowledge, positive self-experience and effective self-regulation.
NO.1
Objective self-knowledge
Children who have been raised by spiritual enrichment know how to think independently and look at their own lives clearly.
Obviously, the eldest son who was defined by Ma Chenggang as a "waste" in the movie "Catching the Doll" is a typical example of not being spiritually rich.
When he was sent by his father to study abroad, he was completely given up by his parents, and because of this, the eldest son appeared in front of his parents for a long time as an idle and unprofessional image, and when he finally climbed Mount Everest, he shouted "I don't need you to look down on me!" He also looked down on his love for his parents.
On the contrary, in the face of the sudden attention after becoming popular, Zhu Yetian, who was raised by spiritual wealth, has his own understanding, and his response is maturity beyond his years:
At the end of the day, I have a vested interest, and all I can do is do a little bit better for myself and try not to disturb others.
He doesn't deny himself because of some negative comments on the Internet, and he doesn't feel superior to others because of his family or achievements. Have a correct self-awareness, and will not be easily consumed.
During this time, an interview video of a Hong Kong primary school student swept the Internet. Like Zhu Yetian, in the video, a student was admitted to a well-known middle school in Hong Kong, and the media asked him about his experience in taking the exam. Obviously a child who is not yet ten years old, but he is very old and said:
It's hard work, it's my duty to read.
In the interview, Chen also mentioned that he had to attend cram school non-stop after school every Monday to Friday night, and it was precisely because of this hard work that he could be admitted to a good school.
He is well aware of the cruelty and involution of education in Hong Kong, and he can also see the high-quality educational environment provided by his parents, so he does not feel the pain of the life he is experiencing.
NO.2
Positive self-experience
Many psychologists believe that self-confident children will be more active in learning; Children with high self-esteem also tend to have stronger internal motivation and are more likely to be happy and satisfied.
The spiritual enrichment is to let the child gain higher self-esteem and self-confidence through positive feedback.
As an only child in Northeast China, Xiaoyu has not been afraid to try since he was a child, nor is he afraid to express his love for others. In his memory, he has always been a child who has been praised by his parents, and his father always says, "You are not late for school today, which is great!" "Mom always encourages herself when she does something wrong.
It is also with the unconditional support of their parents that the children who have been raised by the spirit are cheerful and confident, full of relaxation, and as long as they see their smiles, they will feel full of vitality.
What's more, such children seem to be born with the ability to love others, they will not be stingy with their love for fear of being hurt, even if they are hurt, they can accept it calmly and start over.
NO.3
Effective self-regulation
In the process of growing up, children who are spiritually rich are rarely denied, but more are seen, heard, understood and cared for.
When netizen Xiaoka shared his growth experience, he proposed that the spiritually rich original family has the greatest confidence in the life of ordinary girls.
She said that her parents are very good at understanding their own life and psychological state through listening, and they also attach great importance to their social and interpersonal relationships. I still remember when I was in elementary school, I had a conflict with my tablemate, and my parents would enlighten my bad mood and help me organize my language to reconcile myself with my tablemates.
Such similar experiences allow children to get along with emotions earlier, and learn to tolerate and regulate emotions under the guidance of their parents. In their daily work and life, they are able to maintain emotional stability and view their negative emotions positively. As a result, they are very good at self-regulation.
The "rich" of spiritual enrichment is not the "rich" of rich, but the "rich" of abundance.
In the movie "Catching the Doll", Ma Chenggang spent millions to send his eldest son to study in United States, but the eldest son was not successful, and the younger son Ma Jiye, who lived in a doting environment served by more than a dozen nannies and carefully fed by his grandfather when he was a child, neither child received spiritual enrichment.
A child's growth will not shorten the process because of the amount of money, and it needs to be completed step by step. However, the enrichment of the spiritual world will make every step of the child solid and powerful, so that the child can better face every failure and setback in the process of growth.
So, how should parents enrich their children?
Poland psychologist Kazimierz Dąbrowski believes that if a child does not receive the care and support of his parents, he may face psychological death, that is, self-disintegration, experience negative emotions such as anxiety and pain, and even self-destructive behaviors such as self-abandonment.
For parents, the best spiritual enrichment is first of all to give their children unconditional love, if parents only give praise and care when their children are doing well, and behave indifferently or even blame when their children are not doing well enough, it will give children a belief that parental love is conditional.
Children who grow up in this way are more likely to take responsibility for themselves because of too high standards and imperfect performance in the future, and it is difficult to establish a positive self-perception.
The second is to respect the child, understand the child, and let the child be a child.
The most important of the documentary "Do You Hear" is to tell parents that when children are given the right to express themselves, they can really feel the energy emanating from their small bodies, their perception of the world, their feelings for their parents, and their unconditional love for their parents.
Children who are raised by spiritual enrichment can be anything they want to be, and no matter what it is, they are passionate about life and curious about life.
However, not all children have the opportunity to be raised by spiritual wealth, even if we are raised by poverty, but fortunately, we still have a long life, we can still save ourselves, from now on to "rich" ourselves.
For example, try to revisit the misconceptions of the past and refute them, starting with "I shouldn't have spent hundreds of dollars on a concert, is it a waste?" "I deserve to enjoy life with the money I earn!" ”
For example, formalize your needs and respond to them well, starting with "I can't stop, I should insist!" "Become" I'm a little tired, I should let myself relax, I will still turn without this world!" ”
For example, take the initiative to break the stereotype and follow your heart, starting with "Shouldn't I take the initiative to pursue the opposite sex, what if I am looked down upon by the other party?" "I have to be with someone I really like, even if I get hurt, I can start over!" ”
Ma Jiye in "Catching the Doll" finally chose to follow his inner love and was admitted to the sports university of his dreams, and he finally returned to his life track.
